The woman was dressed in a satin negligee and a pair four inch spiked heels. She wasn’t wearing much else. She awaited her lover for their usual afternoon together. Her husband was a fortune five hundred financier who was never home. She spent the majority of her time going from man to man in the buildings social club. What a crock that was; everyone knew that it was free sex for a bunch of horny people. Some did partner swapping others like her trolled the other singles and did a few threesomes. She disgusted herself but this beat popcorn and movie night with the cat.
Her lover was knocking at the door. It was time to launch into the grand seduction and move the affair to the next level to exclusivity. She was tired of catting around with countless men. Denny was full time material. She intended on asking Weldon for a divorce and would commit to Denny fulltime. The sex was great. He wasn’t much of a stud but he did keep in shape. Not bad for someone who was follically challenged. At least he wasn’t a troll with a comb over.
She strode to the door, opened it and struck a sexy pose.
“Come on in big boy. I have something special planned.”
“Forget that. We need to talk.”
She looked at him and saw that he was quite serious. “You’re right, Dennis we do need to talk!
“I have something I need to tell you. I am divorcing Weldon so we can be together.”
“You what?” Denny felt like he wanted to puke. This was just meant as a bit of fun. He wanted to end it and she was talking love and marriage. After the first one with Nancy tanked he was determined to stay foot-loose.
“I’m getting rid of the old bore.”
He started pacing and looked agitated.
“That’s what you want isn’t it? The woman was sitting on the edge of the couch looking at him imploringly.
“No Melissa, that’s not what I want. I came to tell you that I want out. I have decided to stop going to the social club.
“Well that’s good, I am quitting too. We can have a real relationship.”
“You don’t get it. I don’t want one, not with you.”
Melissa stood up and excused herself and headed for the ladies room. She refused to let him see her cry.
Denny hated weepy women. He made his way out to the balcony and was looking at the skyline and waited for the woman to compose herself. It seemed like awhile but then he heard her approaching. He turned to see her dressed in a leather corset still sporting the heels.
“Melissa I told you it’s over.”
“Look loser, it’s over when I say it’s over.”
He looked closer and saw that she had a bullwhip in one hand and a colt 45 in the other.
“The way I see it, Dennis you have two choices. Strip or die! Melissa was cracking the whip as she waved the gun at him.
She’s got more talent than I thought she had. There I thought she couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time. If his life weren’t being threatened at the time, this could be a real turn on.
“Start stripping or I start shooting.”
He started removing his clothes before bullets started flying. He was down to the boxers when she took off one of her heels. What Denny didn’t know she had a gift with throwing stars as she had learned from a knife thrower at the circus. With careful aim she hit her target and he went over the balcony. His scream died just as he hit something solid.
I was once again on garbage duty. I was down by the garbage shack behind the building. Just for fun I thought I would do some dumpster diving. I am attending a CSI course so this kind of thing is homework. I instantly regretted my decision as I jumped into the dark smelly receptacle. I felt like hurling but persevered. I shone my flashlight around the dumpster and that’s when I found what was left of Denny Howard. Naturally I did what I usually do when I find something very dead; I screamed like a little girl. Before I puked on the poor guy and destroyed the crime scene I got out and called my husband Gerry on the cell.
Gerry answered the phone with a very sleepy voice.” What’s up Cookie? I was having a really good nap so this better be good.”
“Gerry you’re so sexy when you’re tired but I need you to get your butt out here!”
When I used that tone he knew I meant business. “Gimme a sec babe gotta get dressed, unless you want the neighbors to see the boys.”
“Okay Gerry TMI just hurry.
I clicked off with him and then called 9-1-1. All the while I wondered what had happened to poor Mister Howard. Death was bad enough but losing the jewels was an added insult. On this point any man would agree.
Gerry is a fast mover when there is something strange to investigate. We’re not professional detectives we just find ourselves dumped in to situations like this. So far I have found a dead guy on my living room floor, found a neighbour floating in her breakfast and just recently my ex-husband Lou was mowed down in Florida by an egotistical NASCAR driver and left for road kill.
“So what did you find or should I say who?” My husband can be very sarcastic especially when faced with yet another murder scene.
“Take a look.”
I showed Jerry what was in the dumpster. He looked at what was left of Denny, and looked like he was going to lose his dinner. Wow, that’s a crappy way for a guy to die!
No kidding eh? I felt bad for the dead dude in the dumpster. What had he done to warrant castration? Then I noticed something I hadn’t seen on my first look. There was a four inch heeled stiletto sticking out of Denny’s forehead. This was no accidental fall; someone had thrown a very expensive shoe at him. Can you say death by Jimmy Choo?
Just then we heard the all too familiar police sirens. Just after we had returned home from our honeymoon in Florida, Gerry and I decided to move out of the four story building in Scarborough to a high rise in North York. This made my mother happy that she could now sleep at night without fearing we would be murdered in our sleep. I hated to inform her that some parts west of Victoria Park were no safer than Scarberia.
Just then a dark blue Crown Victoria pulled up. Out jumped Gibbons our favorite homicide detective. If it weren’t that he was on duty I would have hugged him.
“Hey Gibbons are you not out of your area?” I was curious that he was in my part of town.
“Oh Yeah, I was going to mention that but I got busy. This is my new backyard. Scarborough just wasn’t the same without you and Gerry.
“So how are Janice and the baby?”
“Fine but keeping me awake all night.”
Gibbons got down to business as the Crime scene team got to work and the uniformed cops did crowd control. I explained how I had come to find the victim in the dumpster in his current condition.
“You were in the dumpster?”
“Yes I was on garbage duty for the building but also doing some homework for an evidence collection assignment. I didn’t touch him but I did notice the blood on the sharp edge of the dumpster.”
I handed the flashlight to the detective and pointed out the high heeled appendage in the victim’s forehead.
“Whoa! Serious heels there. Gibbons looked at the high heel between Denny’s eyes. Does this poor sap have a name?”
Yes Dennis Allister Howard, Suite 1031. I recited from memory.
Gibbons looked at me. “How did you do that?”
“Hello, manager here; I am paid to know who is where.
Gerry spoke up. “She’s got the tenants list memorized and if she doesn’t know Stella Stadylmeyer does.”
The crime scene tech when to work I’m processing the body. As a student of this trade I just sat back and watched in amazement. This kind of work fascinate s me.
So Laura what’s your theory on this? Give into is always appreciated my take on things.
Clearly he really must a pissed somebody off. Question is who, and why.
Did he have any known enemies in the building?
Well I didn’t know him personally; you have to talk to Stella about that, she’s the one in-the -know.
Gerry interrupted here. “What Laura is trying to say is that Stella is the Resident busy body. I think my wife is jealous.”
I shot Jerry a dirty look. Personally I don’t like the woman and resented Gerry’s inference that I wanted to be anything like her. The woman was a heartless gossip and possessed no personal boundaries. It wouldn’t faze her in the least to get in our faces about things only she gave a damn about. The members of the tenants association were champing at the bit to vote her out at the next election. I heard these things when pretending to clean the washers in the laundry room.
He just smirked.
“Come on guys, play nice for a minute. What unit is Stella in?”
“1214 I believe.”
“So what’s the Social Club about?”
“Sarah Watkins is the president. Jerry and I don’t get involved.”
“Okay that’s great I have a lot of questions for these people.” Gibbons closed his notebook.
The crime scene techs were in the dumpster removing Denny’s body. In doing so, the shoe dislodged from his forehead. At the end of the shoe was a retractable blade.”
“Detective Gibbons, you need to see this!”
We all shuffled over to where the tech had Dennis laying on the gurney half out of the body bag. He was holding the killer shoe in his other hand. Sure enough there was a corkscrew type blade sticking out of the end. The tech pushed a button in the heel and the blade retracted.
“Holy shit!” I exclaimed, “That’s got to be the oddest thing I have ever seen.
He gave that to the tech and told him to bag it and get it to the lab for prints.
“No kidding if we can get viable prints, it’s going to be a way to narrow down the killer.
“I was looking up and noticed another interesting sight. “The balcony just above the dumpster was gaping open. I couldn’t name the tenant off hand but was willing to bet a tall skinny latte that our killer might live in the building. I pointed to Gibbons and Gerry and got them to look up.
“This is just too easy,” said the detective.
“I’ll check the tenants list.”