BLURB FOR JAMAICA DEAD
After Graduating from the Crime scene investigator course, Laura and Gerry escape for some quality time in Jamaica. As usual, things are not going according to Hoyle for Cookie the corpse magnet as another murder takes place. The victim was obnoxious and not widely admired by his fellow vacationers but what did Donovan Mitchell do to deserve death?
The Jerk is hot and the beer is cold. The bodies are piling up and will Laura make it home alive?
MY FAVORITE EXCERPT
Gaylord must find someone to place a spell on Donovan. He contacts Mary a medium and voodoo priestess:
Gaylord was on the hunt for Mama Mary’s little shop of psychics. He walked around the whole market til he found and actual store front instead of collapsible tents should a hurricane hit the island. He stepped into the venue and a bell rang announcing his arrival.
Upon hearing the doorbell Mary turned around and was face to face with the ugliest man she had ever had the misfortune of laying her eyes on.
“Good Lawd mon take that mask off afore ya scare all de tourists away!”
“It’s not a mask Lady.”
“Did someone drop you from the top of an ugly tree? I’ve seen some scary looking guys but brother you take de cake!”
“Can the ugly jokes Mama. I know what I look like. Medusa would have a better chance getting a date than me. It gives me an edge.”
“Alright state your business. What do ya need, tarot card, crystal ball, palms. I do warn ya on all three counts you ain’t getting any prettier.”
“What did I say about the ugly remarks? Gaylord looked daggers at her and she stopped.
I may need your services just in case two of my underlings get out of hand. Can you handle curses?”
“Sure like what kind, love, blindness, infidelity…?”
“How does death grab ya?”
“Death? Well then things just got interesting.”
Gaylord rolled his eyes. The last thing he needed was sarcasm from this woman.
“Well can you do it?
Yes I can but that’s serious woo-woo!”
“Yeah voodoo, obeah, black arts.”
“Okay is there a death spell or hex?”
Indeed there is but that’s eshu –pretty serious shit. He must have done something heinous to want eshu. What did he do?”
Can’t say. I anticipate he or they may be screwing me over in business.”
She shook her head “can’t do eshu for a potential financial screwing.”
“What’s eshu for?”
“All the nasty crap like rape, murder, killin’ yo mama. I can do eshu for that but not because he might take advantage of you in business if you really want the buggers dead find another way.”
“What if I tell you if you don’t do eshu I can hurt you real bad?”
“Mary shrugged.” You do know you are talking to a voodoo shaman and priestess. I have the spells.”
“I have a mean looking gun even uglier than me.”
“Nothing is that ugly.”
“Fine Eshu it is. Dayum you drive a hard bargain when do you want it done?”
I will let you know if and when I need it.
Okay that’s gonna cost you fifty grand American!”
“I am doing this against my principles and if I get caught I am as good as dead. We don’t use Eshu indiscriminately! Even evil shamans have their limits and a few morals.”
Gaylord nodded as he had no other way. Shooting the bastards or arranging accidents was more his style but no the big man wanted voodoo and Mary was the best outside of Kingston. “I can get fifty grand US later today.”
“Good bring it by after-hours I live upstairs. Knock three times.
“Yes really. No skin off my ass. You want the spell I need the money.”
Fine then I’ll see you at six. Don’t make me wait those damn no-see-ums are murder at that hour.”
He left the shop.
Mary removed the tape from the recorder and slipped it into an envelope and put it in the top drawer with a note In the event of my death. She taped every transaction but Gaylord didn’t need to know that this was insurance the only kind Mary could afford.